How true.
A new AY just started.
Changed course. And that's one happy thing.
I'm currently having fun with it.
With the awesome 1A01.
Despite without going through FOP.
But I'm glad to have my openness in that class :D
Second week of school only.
Projects have arrived.
And deadlines are a week or two after that.
Wonderful much?
Well.... i shouldn't be surprised,
after going through Polytechnic for a year already.
Holidays were great.
Partying, spending time with good friends,
work to generate revenue, gain great experiences.
That enough for me already!
I just want a happy life with occasional trials,
but it's just getting bumpy.
Anyway, I'm doubting we can carry on our friendship.
It's sinking, and even deeper than before.
I once catch a glimpse of hope in it,
but your actions fails to make it brighter.
The fire to carry on this is extinguishing,
in another words, it's fading.
Why? I can't blame it too much on you.
I've my own thoughts.
I really felt that we're spending too much on our individual.
Until when we come to a point of procrastination,
saying that we'll have a proper talk next time.
But that "next time" seems not to be coming.
And sometimes. I'm hurt.
Deeply hurt, internally. Till I'm hearing the cries inside.
Emotionally drowned, I broke down.
Cried before my sleep, thinking why am I doing this for?
Torture myself? HELL NO!
The images just flashed into my mind.
Our past memories, happiness.
You once gave me a security that we can get better.
But it's too naive if I were to be like this all the time.
I can't expect this test to be a simple one.
Yet it can be too much for me to handle at the same time.
I don't know, the passion is fading, the faith is gone.
Totally, I just want to say "Thank you" for those times.
Not that i want a segregation with you.
But this awkward times will just have to go by.
Acting like I can't be bothered by your presence.
It's hard for me to do that you see.
Looking through those time spent,
I believe that'll be the best moment of my life.
Yeah, those were all 2011.
And now, it's 2012, when everything starts to change.
It went 180 degree out of phase.
I start to feel awkward towards you.
The security of being alright is not there.
The feeling for being there for each other is not there.
I'm not trying to attract your attention,
but it's just that you could've given me some attention.
Totally feeling unsatisfied!
Why these kind of YP people deserve more of your attention.
I can't be bothered if you want to take care of others,
when you can't even take care of yourself.
Okay, screw this fact. Your thoughts are just too weird.
Now, what can I say. Continue this journey.
HELL NO MAN!
Not till you understand the pain that I'm going through.
You're just being too insensitive of thoughts already.
I can't even capture the genuine feeling in this friendship anymore.
It's not the first time already though.
It's just coming repetitively.
I'm not a toy in this game.
Neither are you.
I've treating this very seriously,
and you can't seems to be bothered,
What to do?
Hold it, suck it, and rant it.
You'll just see,
one day, I'll just wash my hands off from this!
Have some sudden thought of that out of the blue.
The title do explains what I'm gonna blog about.
I've thought of this for quite some time. And I'm really feeling empty about it more and more. Lately has been an emotional time, especially at night before i sleep. Thoughts came through my mind, on why am I screwing my life so badly. Why do I fear so much whenever i really need a talk to a certain person? Why am I being delusive on the consequences after doing a certain thing?
Now it's just gonna be about another person, different one from the previous post.
We met on an unexpected occasion last year! Yeah, parties rocking in that house tonight. We started knowing each other, hanged out for a moment and then get crazy within a day. And till then, i was looking forward to meet you. #okaycan.
Time goes by, and we met out, despite all out funny and screwed up schedule we have, not to mention I still have school at that moment of time. I truly had fun at that particular night. Just talking on what's happening recently, and also some thoughts we have over a certain issue. It sure is enjoyable. From then, I've treated you as a Friend.
It really breaks when my mind is being prompted to meet you up, for any purpose. Just like for any loved ones, you would wish for 'em to take a day off just to spend time with each other and truly understands each other even more! Yeah, you owe me a date you know? -.-
Our form of communication is just comes from the weirdest invention, the internet. And as you can see, all our "conversations" comes from facebook status or even twitter mentions. Yeah, it feels more like encouraging! And somehow, it really makes me jealous that you're really doing well in life, and I'll have to suck up all the struggles all by myself.
I do like some encouraging statement you said to me. I'll never forget that feeling. And also the "thanks" that you said when I tried to shower my concern. As much as I do care for you, I really do! See, trying too hard to not care is just simply like shoving everything aside and focus on your own individual stuffs!
Humans can be selfish, by taking every resultant credit to themselves, without even thinking about the process on whose guidance were these. I don't know about you, but i really feel that the journey seems more important than the end result. I see no point in having a very good end result having your person morale crashed.
Till now, I really missed you. Time and again! Whenever my thoughts about you can through my mind, I couldn't stop crying. May sounds damn wrong, but I'm yearning to rant everything out. I really thank God to have met you, cause you're truly one right friend for me to make :D
YEAH, just hope that we can keep up with our life. And be able to find a time for each other :D In conclusion: I just can't let go for this friendship <3
Time has come to that moment, when I'm doubting my identity to you as a friend.
Firstly, I feel that we've been to busy with our recent life! It's rather normal that I'm having school, and here you are having your holidays, working! Okay, I'll just put that aside. But then some things are just not as expected as i think. To think that we used to have our moments by spending time together, full of laughter and joy, getting crazy, and even share our love stories. But most importantly, the heart to heart talk that we have. I'll never forget the sacrifice of your time, and your listening ear for me to rant out all my troubles that I'm facing!
But ever since that last phone call. I really have the desire to share with you even more things. Sometimes, whenever I'm excited over certain things, the first thing that came into my mind is you! See, the feeling when you're so willing to share something whenever something great is happening, and the euphoric feeling to share it to a certain person (Y).
I still remembered there was a moment when my feelings were really cheated, the first thing i could think of is your listening ear. Tahan-ing all my cursing and swearing and not saying out what really happened in detail! I just felt like a jerk whenever I tried to disturb you at a wrong timing! And sometimes even expect more advices from you.
Not trying to be wrong, but I always get excited whenever I sees you. It's like the first moment when we meet each other, all we could do is just to give each other an eyeball to eyeball eye contact, follow by a hug after that, saving the talk for later. Through that, I'll always remember your affectionate act!
But it was just too long, very long. Ever since last year, we talked to each other as though the conversation were endless or something of that sort. Now both of us are really busy, the emptiness begins to stir in my heart. Sometimes, I was even hoping that you could give me some of your time, just to share on what's happening between us, and also to deepen our friendship. And that's all I'm asking for. It's all because that you're really the right companion for me to talk to.
After crying for night after night on what really happened, I really come to a stand that I couldn't read your thoughts, well enough. I felt like a failure on what actually spoils our friendship. I couldn't stand you being with those bunch of rather spoiled people. Sometimes, I really with you could be like what you are previously- Giving me the time that we have like previously.
Because of not being able to let it out, like how you used to when we're on our heart to heart talk, I've been holding in ever since the start of this year. And in my opinion, I've really makes things worse by telling the wrong person about it. And then when I want to get to you, I lost the courage and begin to fear! It was from then, I begin to feel that our friendship is drifting apart.
It really feels awkward now whenever I tried to make an attempt. I know, but I just can't feel anything about you, but more pain, an excruciating one, on why is this happening to us. I really hope that we could restore what we really have in the past.
After such a long post: I would still say, you're my .... best friend [:
And hopefully, you'll always be one.
Thank you for being by my side.
And also thanks for that wonderful past. <3
Exams has finally come to a close 2 days ago.
Yeah, have been yearning that ever since the start of this year :D
And now, it finally comes.
With that, I've finished Year1 already [:
Term4 has been a very stressful term.
And I'm really physically and mentally drained.
But it really is great when one assignments is down,
one after another. Yeah, peace sign.
But it kinda sucks when it comes again.
But oh well, it all ends well!
Despite these stressful times, I still have the time to play.
I believe it can really helps, and it indeed is :D
Yeah, the one when I go out to celebrate birthday during exam period.
I had lots of fun, but not forgetting the exam content.
But some time, especially after exam.
There'll be a tendency of loss of what to do.
Yeah, it's just like saying it feels empty without studying.
In my opinion, it's for either people who've no aims,
or their holidays are just too empty.
Okay, sometimes, it can be rather packed for the wrong stuffs.
Throughout this term, my emotions were rather unstable.
It can be due to stress, but that's just an excuse.
Cause if everybody's stress, everybody will be facing the same problem.
And that'll make no sense on how people react to it.
Yeah, I've problem facing certain people.
With that, I really feel that I've lost even more friends,
especially when I've made a promise with them
to get closer on this 2012.
See, busyness destroys relationships.
When we were caught up with our own things,
we tend to forget certain things behind us.
More like 洗新恨旧i must say.
Okay, that's not the case sometimes.
But it does happen when a new bunch of people are coming.
But on the other hand,
when we get too clingy into the past people,
we will certainly not really move on with life.
See, life is all about adapting to changes, swiftly.
And after being in Poly for a year,
I somehow don't really feel adapted.
The freedom that I'm expecting isn't this way.
It's beyond what I've expected already.
I mean, there must be a way to get people together and bond.
Not like those usual routine of school-home-study.
Too no life already!
Take my class as an example.
I mean, Sem2 classmates.
I really thank god for certain people,
who bother to make an effort to go hangout after class/plan an outing.
I mean, why are there so little fun people in the class?
Either they've no freaking life,
or just an anti-social introvert.
Yeah, some irritating assholes are just out of phase too.
Minus 'em out, i don't even know how to count with my fingers already.
Okay, enough of that.
I'm really not looking forward to see 'em anymore.
I mean, if they happen to be my classmate again anytime for 2 years.
Then I guess it really sucks to be me then.
I've ruin my whole poly life, of fun especially,
just like how i did in Secondary school.
Okay, with that's aside.
I'm looking forward to this holiday for certain purposes.
Firstly, I'm gonna learn guitar.
WOOHOOO, that's gonna be like my third instrument.
And I really desire to use that as a talent once again (Y).
Although I've not tried it in my life,
but I certainly want to try it out.
On the other hand, the fee is freaking cheap.
It's 50 bucks to 12 lessons (Y).
And that excludes what I'm gonna get.
Like Tuner, Pick, scores, or maybe even a stand. -.-
All these really cost a bomb man!
I'm confessing for financial blessing,
and let 'em fall from heaven :D
Secondly, I'm looking forward to next AY,
because there's PE system implemented :D
It's really a time to get fit once again,
after not exercising for abcdefg years,
Once again, I get to choose what I want.
And I choose hip hop dance (Y).
Dance has also been my passion since afew years ago.
I know I'm a stiff and a hopeless dancer.
But nobody can really stop me from what I'm gonna do.
Yeah, maybe I can even further the skill after finishing this module :D
If this is counted in my GPA, I will definitely score (Y).
Fighting a losing war against my studies and emotion!
I'm not really in the mood for blogging.
The workload is very tight!
Will blog when everything is over.
Yearning for 27Feb 11:10am ;D
Love, is a commitment!BTB(Back to blogging) after some time.
School has not really been good lately.
It's the amount of work that's worrying me.
Sometimes, I'm just worried that I couldn't finish it on time.
And the exam timetable spoiled my Saturday.
Yeah, right at the moment when i woke up.
It's spreading all over facebook and twitter.
&it break my heart that it's coming in exactly a month time.
No time no time -.-
Nevermind about that.
CNY season is approaching.
Right, with all the angpao, goodies, gambling like usual.
I did my shopping with my mum few days ago ^^
Spent on quite an amount,
but my mum fork out everything for it ;D
-Insert smily face-
I terribly love the fact that,
SP has an offday on Wednesday.
Awesome much. I can have another day of rest.
But I can't go out on that day though -.-
Damn visitation for nearly everyday.
Okay, maybe for the first 3 days of CNY.
Once again, I shall wish my readers a Happy New Year in advance.
Enjoy your goodies, time with family ;D
Cause I know you all will, and hopefully I will too :D
But the amount of workload makes me have no mood for CNY.
And so is the other way round.
It contradicts but it's true.
十年 之前
我不认识你你不属于我
我们还是一样陪在一个陌生人左右
走过渐渐熟悉的街头
十年 之后
我们是朋友还可以问候
只是那种温柔再也找不到拥抱的理由
情人最后难免沦为朋友
